Frustrated Heart to The Moon
A secret love for one who doesnt know you well, or at all. If only you could read my mind, you'd be in tears.
Permalink
PART 6: A STORY FOR SOMEONE WHO MATTERS
LAURIE’s POV
That was the first time I talked to him.
Yes, I know the reason behind it all. What makes me wonder is why he doesn’t have any initiative to ring the doorbell. Why wait everyday for someone who doesn’t even know that you’re still in love with them? Why can’t he just talk to his Summer once and for all to end the longing? Why? Why make things so difficult?
What the … fudge.
I want to talk to him again.
I want to spare him from the wait.
The next morning I decided to go to that old house where the man goes every night. I saw the elderly landlord, Mr.Victorino going out of the house. I ran fast to catch up to him and luckily, I did. *SMILE* haha. I asked him if ever he knows of lady named Summer Gonzales. He nodded and asked me back why I was looking for Summer. I told him that I need to tell her something. All I got was “She’s not here Laurie.” And he got in the car. I think that he’s hiding something. I don’t know what, but I need to know it immediately. I just went back to my house and got productive.
While I think of the story that I need to write, I waited for the night to come so I can talk to Jerome. At last, 9pm came. I went out of the house to look for him and to my surprise he wasn’t there. I sat on the bench where the couple sat; the couple I thought wouldn’t last but ended up in matrimony. J Good for them. I hope they don’t go through those separation stuffs. It’s getting late. My eyelids are too heavy for me to stay awake… I wonder where Jerome is.
“Wake up. Laurie.” said a familiar voice I was waiting for. I slowly opened my eyes and got temporary blinded by the light of the street lamp. “Huh?… uh… W-Wha-What…?” I see a figure of a man wearing a hat and eyeglasses. “Oh! It’s you sir!” I stood up immediately from where I sat and smiled at him. He smiled back at me and said , “ It’s nice of you to wait for me here for an hour or so.” ,
“It’s no big deal really, Sir.”
“Don’t call me Sir. Just call me Grandpa.”
“Really? I’ve never really met my Grandpa. I guess I have a grandfather that I can call my own now.”
“You bet kiddo. I am the greatest Grandpa you’ll ever have.”
“So Grandpa, are you ready?”
“For what?”
“Ready to talk to Summer.”
“Uhm… Wait. Are you serious with that?”
“Yes. I am serious. Damn serious.”
“I can’t. Not for the reason of being shy but I don’t want her to know that I did not fulfill my dreams exactly as planned because of her. I am not blaming her , but I’m preventing her from thinking that I am not okay.”
Permalink
PART 5: A STORY FOR SOMEONE WHO MATTERS
“What’s with us being so sentimental, Jerome? It’s like you have a lot of questions here…” She pointed her hand at my chest and drags it until it reached the tip of my nose and poked it gently. “Haha. Sorry Rome, I just wanted to make you laugh. Hey, look, there are no stars in the sky.”
“You’re looking for stars? I’m not. I found my star. She’s right here beside me.” – she smiled at me like an innocent girl. Like there was no sadness behind it.
“Remember when you touched my hand for such time that only those who have special connections do? We were friends then. That moment you held my hand gave me the feeling I never felt for a very long time. I just needed to let go for me not to fall completely because I know it was only I who felt the spark.”
“I don’t want to tell you lies, Summer.”
“And remember the day that I said you were my inspiration in every art I make?”
“Please, Summer.”
“Those were good times right? Haha. You got pissed off with me for being such an annoying kid who chases after you.”
When I looked at her, there was a drop of water near her cheeks. I thought she was crying. I figured out that it came from the sky because I felt it on my face too.
“I need to tell you something. Listen to me.”
“It’s raining. Good. You won’t see me cry.”
“I…”
“Just tell me lies Jerome. It would ease the pain.”
“I’m not going to tell you lies. I want you to know, I love you.”
“You’re already lying.”
“ I love you … but I need to let you go.”
“Why…”
“Close your eyes.”
I reached for her face and kissed her on the lips, – it’s like the moment stopped during that priceless moment. It was a kiss to state a farewell.
My hands were laid on both of her soft, rosy cheeks. Her tears rolling down were warm. I feel it even if the rain pours so hard on us. She removed my hand from her face and said her last words for that night,
“Enough. Jerome, I want you to be happy. If I need to leave you for you to be happy, I will. I don’t want you to explain anymore. Your kiss answered everything that’s bothering me. I bid you goodbye. This will be the last.”
She left after that. I wanted to run after her but I can’t. There’s the urge that wanted me to run after her, but I just watched her as she walks away.
Permalink
PART 4: A STORY FOR SOMEONE WHO MATTERS
“Uhm, hey. What now? You know you need to talk to me now Jerome. I can’t help but to think of things.”
“Summer… Remember how I first met you?”
“Yes, I remember. That was a day before my college life started. You were standing in line in the eatery waiting for your food to be served. You looked at me like you were pissed off with my face.”
“I didn’t remember that day. I didn’t even recognize you.” – I wanted to look back at the happy times we had so both of us can carry on after that night. I want it to be “lesser pain” for her.
We know the fact that memories would be the only thing that would last forever. Sometimes it’s really hard to tell someone that you’re letting them go. Pain will always be there. Choosing to leave a person means only one thing, breaking someone’s heart. You can’t just tell the person to cheer up or just smile after getting their heart broken by someone that means the world to them. I’m a selfish jerk.
“Then I saw you at school, sitting along the hallway. You were called by your friends. That’s the first time I knew your name.” I can hear her breathing deeply while telling our story. I wanted to stop the conversation because it was also hurting me a lot. I guess retelling it makes me still want to hold on to her much longer, but now it’s just an alibi to end that night with little pain. I want her to smile for the last time… the last time that I can call her mine.
“After that day I began to wonder if there would be, by any chance, that you’ll notice me. I held on to that thought. Remember the day I ran so fast that you didn’t catch up?”
“Uh-huh. Yes, what about that? That was the day when I was supposed to approach you and talk to you about something.”
“I ran away from you because I don’t want you to talk to me. I don’t want you to be close.”
“Why is that?”
“I want my feelings to stay stationary. I was afraid that when we get closer to each other I’ll have to stop my feelings for you. I just wanted to love you secretly. You still don’t know who I was back then. You only knew my name. Well, not actually my name, just my nickname.”
“ I wish we can go back to that day. That very day you ran away. If only we have a time machine.”
“Time machine? Haha, stop dreaming. Memories will be memories.”
“Memories, they’re intricate pieces of sentiments. You know, I never thought I’d fall for you this hard. I shouldn’t have ignored you. I should’ve taken care of you a long… long time.”
“ Huh?”
“ I remember the time I fell for you. I thought we wouldn’t end up like this. You were so caring. You texted me when I was sick, talk to me when I was alone; and you gave time to appreciate me. I love you not only because of who you are, it’s who I am when I’m with you. That feeling… that when you’re by my side makes me whole again.”
